It is a dreary fall day. Not any different than if the sun were shining and yet it is different. Sunshine somehow gives us energy whereas dreary days, at least for most of us, make us want to pull up the blankets or hit the snooze alarm one more time and sleep for a while longer. Is that what marriage is also? It is easy to be enthusiastic and want to do things to enliven and enrich our marriages when we perceive that we are in a sunshine time in our marriage. When there are rainy dreary days most of us just like to coast along for a little while. I think both have their place. Seasons and rain and sunshine occur naturally. The amount of time spent in each place changes depending on where we live. Marriage can be the same way. We know many couples who seem to have many rainy days, even when the sun is shining outside. We also know couples who have sunshiny days when it is rainy outside. We have to make accommodations for the weather and we must do the same in our marriage relationships or we will be hit with a deluge or extreme cold spell and not know who to handle it.
One just has to open a news website to find suggestions on marriage and relationships. We’ve been looking at these for years and nothing new pops up any more. They are the same topics we have written about here or in our book, Forever and a Day, or things we have spoken of at marriage enrichment programs. However, I do think it is good from time to time to read these sites, read topics in our book or other books or attend a program that is designed to enrich the marriage you have.
There aren’t really new topics but perhaps a little different twist on how we might approach things. In the seventies and eighties couples went away for a long weekend together to a marriage retreat. Some of those couples lives were changed forever, some for a while and some went home the way they went to the experience. As times change couples tended to just want to go away together to a getaway island or Vegas thinking they could work on their marriage together. Perhaps they had nice dinner conversations or took time to make love more leisurely than at home and they came away renewed at least until they got out of the car at home. The experience might be better if an agenda was set up before to engage in a discussion of some of the things each promised they would talk about or get to, sometime. Today, I’m not sure where or what couples do. Some still go away to marriage retreats although the number is small. Many still go away together, some are so absorbed with children that there is little room for couple time.
This week our suggestion is to think about what is it that is keeping you in the rainy days of relationship. Where is there dull routine with little excitement for each other? Most couples can readily identify where they need to work in their relationship. If you don’t know what to do to bring the sunshine to your life perhaps consider going to one of the websites, read a book together or attend an enrichment program. New seasons or weather changes just might occur.
We would enjoy hearing your thoughts about what you do with the seasons or weather days of your marriage.
Today’s scripture readings, reflection and prayer:
Living Together in the Word
Bob & Rita’s book: Forever and Day: An Invitation to Create a Marriage That Lasts a Lifetime is available on Amazon.com or by contacting us. Also available for Kindle and Nook. Make a retreat with your spouse, at home, on your time. Readings, relationship tips, questions for discussion.