Good News about Men and Marriage

Recently, we wrote a blog about how marriage is treated in the sayings on T-shirts, posters, etc.  We found that most of the “humorous?’ phrases made marriage look bad and particularly men were portrayed as totally dominated by their wives.  That bothered us, especially Bob, so we went looking for real men who love and support their wives and whose wives consider themselves lucky to have the man they are married to.

Here is a widely reported story about Hector Cruze, who started Project Breastfeeding.  His project takes pictures of new fathers holding their breast-fed child in the feeding position.  They are bare-chested and some are covered with tattoos.  We get to see their tenderness and the story shows how the project started with a man’s empathy for his wife as she struggle with breast-feeding their newborn.  Read the USA today story here.

We found a blog, with a surprisingly positive post about 5 Types of Men Who Make Good Husbands.  You may find them interesting- the blogger labels them, The Provider, The Rock, The Critical Thinker, The Believer, and The Free Spirit.  It may be a surprise that the blogger says she has met many women who are married to men who fit these descriptions and many of the men themselves.  You would not get this from listening to the stories and jokes about marriage that circulate everywhere.

Last week our topic was April Fool and other jokes married couples play on each other.  We got the following response from our longtime friend Paula. (reprinted with her permission) She was widowed in late 2012, after more than 50 years of marriage to Phil.  They were (and Paula still is) fun to be with and always had great stories to tell about the fun they had together.  We have said on many occasions that we want to be like them when we grow up.  Enjoy her story.

Thank you for reminding me of all the funny, crazy, loving times the two of had over the 52 years we were married playing little practical jokes on each other. Phil always said I was the more outrageous one, but he certainly pulled off his share of surprises — like in our earlier years, when I commented on a friend’s house having a light in their shower (a luxury at the time) and how special I thought that was — he taped a flashlight to our showerhead for me to find the next time I showered, along with a note that said, “Stick with me, baby, I’ll cover you with diamonds”. And, years later, in his retirement, when he had too much time on his hands, I came home to find on my pillow a paper necklace he had made out of diamond shaped pieces of paper and dental floss, along with a note that said, “I told you I’d cover you with diamonds — it just doesn’t get any better than this.” I treasure that paper necklace and I proudly wore it out to dinner and a meeting that night. I told him, “If we ever have a fire, this is the first thing I will try to save.” Thanks for the memories!!

Finally, we found this love poem with 7 others on  Bob likes this one and notes that is written by a man.

Love’s Philosophy by Percy Bysshe Shelley

The fountains mingle with the river
And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single,
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle –
Why not I with thine?

See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea –
What are all these kissings worth
If thou kiss not me?

Take some time today to think about the husband you are or have.  We think it will bring smiles to your faces and perhaps a tear or two.  Please leave comments.  We appreciate them and you just might end up in our next post (with permission of course).

Today’s scripture readings, reflection and prayer:

Living Together in the Word

Bob & Rita’s book:  Forever and Day:  An Invitation to Create a Marriage That Lasts a Lifetime is available on or by contacting us.  Also available for Kindle and Nook. Make a retreat with your spouse, at home, on your time.  Readings, relationship tips, questions for discussion.


About Rita & Bob Boeke

Rita Boeke has experience teaching scripture and with her husband Bob has experience in enriching marriages through workshops and retreats. They post a weekly blog at and co-authored Forever and a Day: An Invitation to Create a Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime.
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