Myths that are Bad for Marriage

In the April 18, 2012 Chicago Tribune, reporter Wendy Donahue reviews You Complete Me and Other Myths that Destroy Happily Ever After by Victoria Fleming, PhD (North Shore Wellness Service).  There are many sayings about marriage that we hear and that affect the way we approach marriage.  While many of them contain some element of truth, they often are myths that, taken for granted and without serious thought, can harm rather than help a relationship.  This review addresses three myths, more are in the book.  We thought you might find it interesting and possibly useful.

The title myth is “You complete me”.  Here is an excerpt.

 The problem with the “you complete me” model of relationships is simple math.

“The myth trumpets that ‘I am less than whole but with you I can be restored to whole,'” said Victoria Fleming, author of a book inspired by that cliché, “You Complete Me and Other Myths That Destroy Happily Ever After” (North Shore Wellness Service). “People think ‘I’m half and you’re half and together we make a whole.’ But human beings aren’t additive, we’re dynamic. It turns into multiplication. A half times a half is a fourth, and you end up with less than when you started.”

Read the Tribune article here.  Buy the book here.

Have you found any sayings about marriage that have turned out not to be true in your marriage?  Please share your thoughts with us.


Learn more about the Forever and a Day Workshop and other programs offered by Bob & Rita.

Bob & Rita’s book:  Forever and a Day:  An Invitation to Create a Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime, is available on  Also available for Kindle and Nook.  Check out our Marriage Enrichment Programs at


About Rita & Bob Boeke

Rita Boeke has experience teaching scripture and with her husband Bob has experience in enriching marriages through workshops and retreats. They post a weekly blog at and co-authored Forever and a Day: An Invitation to Create a Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime.
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