Spring Cleaning

As spring has arrived we’ve been cleaning up and cleaning out.  Our parish had a spring clothing drive and we donated several bags of clothes we no longer wear.  We’ve been doing some landscape work and cleaned out fertilizer and potting soil from the garage.  One day I came across an article on spring cleaning one’s sex life.  While it was aimed at women we thought we would write our version of that.

  1. Update your lingerie chest.  For women take a look at your undies.  Do they need some updating?  Look at it from the perspective that you might have looked when you were approaching marriage.  Throw out those things that don’t make you feel sexy.  Keep some comfortable things but maybe purchase some new more attractive items.  Wear them on days when you might not usually do so.  It just might lead to an unexpected romantic interlude.  This applies to men as well.  Get out of the ordinary.  Whether you are a boxer or tidy whitey kind of guy take a look at what you own.  Maybe a new color t-shirt and bottoms like black or red might be more attractive to your wife.  Better yet have some discussion on what each of you finds sexy and make a date and shop together or after the discussion go alone and surprise each other.  However, the discussion is good – the husband of a couple we know bought something sexy for his wife which she found offensive.
  2. Think about who or what you bring to bed with you.  Last week I read a report from a study done that said 12% of women in a group of one thousand admitted to texting while they were having sex.  But beyond that who or what else comes to bed with you—former partners, jobs, children, parents, tensions in your relationship.  Consider spending five minutes each evening or if that is not possible once a week to clear your mind of everything but each other.
  3. Make an appointment with your doctor for a physical check-up if you have not had one in the past year.  Worrying about your body and concerns about your health including your sexual health may hinder your love making.
  4. Bring new life to your bedroom.  Walk into your bedroom and look at it from the perspective of a romantic getaway hotel.  Maybe cleaning the clutter is in order.  Perhaps a new coat of paint or new linens would make it more attractive.  For some just making the bed each day might be helpful.  If your bedroom is already neat and orderly perhaps add a bouquet of fresh flowers or candles.  Don’t keep the candles as decorations use them for ambience.  We tried satin sheets once and put them on periodically but it is a little difficult staying in bed.
  5. Try something new in your sexual relationship.  Changing time, place and activity, not partners, are the best aphrodisiacs.  Get out of your comfort zone.  Purchase a book on ways to improve your sex life or watch a romantic movie together.  Make love in the afternoon while the kids are napping or at a play date and enjoy your own play date.  We once made love in our walk in closet while the kids were in the house.
  6. Change your bedding and what you wear to bed.   While we mentioned this in changing your bedroom above, sheets and bedding in general can make a huge difference.  Rita especially likes clean sheets.  She would have then everyday.  Change takes most things out of the ordinary and makes them new and exciting.  That also includes what you wear to bed for both men and women – or perhaps what you don’t wear.  For you as women get out that special nightgown or if your husband likes you in silk pajamas try that.  Men aren’t usually as particular about what they wear to bed but maybe change the color of what you wear or try silk pajamas yourself.  It always adds interest to the taking off of clothing as well.  Again a discussion might be just what you need.
  7. Take a look at your personal appearance.  Would exercise or dieting add to your sexual relationship?  Maybe a new hairstyle for either of you.  Look in the mirror and look at yourself through the eyes of your spouse.  What could you do to make yourself slightly more attractive and sexier?

Spring brings new life to our world why not use it as a time to spruce up your relationship especially your sexual life.  We are retired teachers and are going on a “spring break” trip to Italy for a few weeks and so will not be posting a new blog until June 13.  But we leave you with homework while we are gone.  Work on your physical relationship.  We expect a report when we return.

Note:  our next post will be on June 13.

 Learn more about the Forever and a Day Workshop and other programs offered by Bob & Rita.

Bob & Rita’s book:  Forever and a Day:  An Invitation to Create a Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime, is available on Amazon.com.  Also available for Kindle and Nook.  Check out our Marriage Enrichment Programs at readabookpress.com.

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About Rita & Bob Boeke

Rita Boeke has experience teaching scripture and with her husband Bob has experience in enriching marriages through workshops and retreats. They post a weekly blog at thewonderofmarriage.com and co-authored Forever and a Day: An Invitation to Create a Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime.
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