Talk Talk Talk

Rita was doing some surfing on the ‘net when she came across an entry on titled:  Talk With Each Other — Not At Each Other.  The article suggests that we marry a person because we can have great conversations with each other.  We dated for four years before we were married and remember many great evenings filled with conversation about each of us and about our future together.  Topics were many – how do we envision our life together, what do I like about you?  How many children do we hope to have?  What will our dream house look like?  The list goes on and on.

We also know that in many marriages there develops a time when it seems to be difficult to find anything to talk about, except, maybe, kids and jobs.  Perhaps we think we’ve answered all those interesting questions.  Our experience is that there are always new topics and new discussions to be had and some old topics to be revisited.  Some of the “dating” questions have been answered – after 45 years of marriage we know how many children we will have.  Others need to be revisited. We are grateful to live in the closest thing we will ever have to our dream house, but now we talk about whether we should “downsize”, when, where and to what kind of home?  Our needs are different now and surely our next move, if we make one, will be to a very different kind of home.  We can also enjoy looking back.  Sometimes we compare the life we have lived with the life we hoped to live when we were dating.  We find ourselves surprised and awed by many of the paths our life together has taken and realize that we had no inkling that God had such wonders in store for us.

As we’ve lived our lives we realize how important it has been to us to always look back and then look ahead.  We have gratitude for what we have experienced and for what we now have.  Perhaps more importantly we continue to dream and no matter how long we both live, we always have a future to plan together.

Why always talk?  Take a look at the article and you will see that the suggested topics encourage you to talk about yourself and listen to your spouse on topics that are personal, not outside of your relationship. It’s a great way get to know and love your partner more than ever.

We encourage you to take a look at the article:  Talk With Each Other — Not At Each Other.

Please leave a comment below.

Bob & Rita’s book:  Forever and a Day:  An Invitation to Create a Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime, is available on  Also available for Kindle and Nook.  Check out our Marriage Enrichment Programs at


About Rita & Bob Boeke

Rita Boeke has experience teaching scripture and with her husband Bob has experience in enriching marriages through workshops and retreats. They post a weekly blog at and co-authored Forever and a Day: An Invitation to Create a Marriage that Lasts a Lifetime.
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